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Newsletter: December 12th, 2006

In this issue of the Christian Marriage
Secrets Newsletter...

- A Note From The Editors, Robert & Susan Irwin
- This Week’s Christian Marriage Quote
- This Week’s Sexual Relationship Tip
- This Week’s Christian Marriage Secrets Article
- This Week’s Recommended Resource
- Who are Robert & Susan Irwin?
- Removal Instructions
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The Christian Marriage Secrets Newsletter:

By Relationship Coaches & Christian Authors:

Robert & Susan Irwin

Newsletter Archive:
http://www.christian-sex.net/newsletter/index.html

Recommended Marriage Resources:
http://www.christian-sex.net/resources/index.html

Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband:
http://www.christian-sex.net/husband/index.html

Sexual Satisfaction For The Christian Wife:
http://www.christian-sex.net/wife/index.html

When Your Husband Is Never In The Mood:
http://www.christian-sex.net/mood/index.html

Christian Sex Blog:
http://www.christian-sex.net/christian_sex_blog/wordpress/index.php

December 12th, 2006

This newsletter is sent to confirmed subscribers
only. If you want to change your e-mail address
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This Weeks Christian Marriage Recommended
Resource:

"Instant Sexy Letters..."

Want to write your spouse a romantic (or sexy)
note, letter or email for the holidays, but are
having trouble getting started?
Try the unique Instant Sexy Letters package. It
will give you hundreds of templates and examples
of romantic, sexy letters. With just the click of
your mouse, you will be well on your way to
writing your spouse a fun, romantic letter!

Find Instant Sexy Letters Here:
http://www.christian-sex.net/sexyletters/index.html

**********

Robert & Susan’s News and Notes:

Less than two weeks till Christmas!

We hope that you have a wonderful holiday season.

This week, our recommended resource is "Instant
Sexy Letters." It is a perfect holiday-related
gift. No matter what other Christmas gifts you
are planning on buying your spouse, taking the
time to generate customized and romantic "sexy
letters" to go along with your gifts will help to
boost the romance level in your marriage during
the holidays.

If you want a unique way to make your spouse feel
special, give them a try.

Also, as a holiday gift to you, we are giving our
newsletter readers a FREE copy of Michael Webb's
"Sexy Coupons." These coupons can be a great way
to create a "spark" in your marriage.

You can find your FREE copy here:

http://www.christian-sex.net/subscriberbonus/index.html

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This Week’s Christian Marriage Secrets Quote:

"All married couples should learn the art of
battle as they should learn the art of making
love. Good battle is objective and honest-never
viscious or cruel. Good battle is healthy abnd
constructive, and brings to a marrriage the
principal of equal partnership."

- Ann Landers

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This Week’s Sexual Relationship Tip:

"Use Those Coupons..."

In our news and notes section, we are giving you
a FREE Christmas present, Michael Webb's "Sexy
Coupons."

These coupons can provide you and your spouse
with hours of fun. And, if you print them out,
they can be presented to your spouse as an
additional Christmas gift!

You will be giving your spouse fun coupons for
special, romantic time with you.

Merry Christmas and enjoy!

You can find your Free E-Book Here:

http://www.christian-sex.net/subscriberbonus/index.html

**********

This week's Christian Marriage Relationship
Article:

"Blocks to Successful Communication in
Marriage..."

By Jim Burns

The trait that is most closely linked to the
success or failure of your marriage is your
ability to communicate. Dr. John Gottman is one
of the world's leading experts on marriage. He
claims that he often can determine if a couple is
on the road to divorce by observing them interact
on an issue of conflict. Much of Dr. Gottman’s
finding centers around the use of negativity as
poor communication. In his excellent book, The
Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, he
writes about six poor habits of communication
that are detrimental to building intimacy and
developing healthy communication. (These poor
habits will help you measure how you are doing
with your spouse in this area. If you find
yourself needing help, then I suggest you talk
with someone about your communication. Remember,
where there is no counsel, people fall; in the
multitude of counselors, there is safety.)

Dr. Gottman’s six poor communication habits are:

1. Harsh Start ups
2. The Four Horsemen: criticism, contempt,
defensiveness, stonewalling? 3. Flooding?
4. Body Language?
5. Failed Repair Attempts?
6. Bad Memories

Let me explain in my own words the dynamics
behind these habits of poor communication. I
think, like me, you will see yourself in many of
them.

Harsh Start Ups: Harsh start ups put the other
person in the defensive before the conversation
has a chance. 2. The Four Horsemen: Dr. Gottman
claims that certain types of negativity are more
lethal to your relationship. His four horsemen
are 1) Criticism: Complaints are normal but
criticism deals more with your spouse’s character
and personality.

Contempt: This is long simmering negative
thoughts about your partner that turn into
disrespect. 3) Defensiveness: As we discussed
earlier in the chapter this approach rarely ever
works and usually turns the conversation into a
blame game. 4) Stonewalling: Eventually your
partner tunes you out. Raymond wasn’t willing to
work at communication with Sylvia; he simply
crawled into his cave and the conversation
stopped for the time being.

Flooding: This happens when you or your spouse
bombards the communication with negativity
whether it is in the form of criticism, contempt,
defensiveness or any other negative approach.
Some people would call consistent nagging a form
of flooding. One man told me that when his wife
starts flooding and nagging at him, he feels like
she is taking her hand and just tapping on his
chest until he blows up.

Body Language: Authorities tell us that good
communication is more about body language than
actual words. When a person shuts the other
person out with their body language, usually the
healthy communication is over. Literally
sometimes their body language is evident that
they have quit listening. It is too difficult to
stay that intense.

Failed Repair Attempts: A repair attempt is when
a couple puts the brakes on the tension in the
relationship and deescalates the conversation.
Obviously there are times with intense
communication where a couple needs to take a
timeout. In a relationship that isn’t working, a
failed repair attempt doesn’t work at decreasing
the tension or lowering the stress level.
Constant failed repair attempts are like that
stress fracture that just keeps getting worse.

Bad Memories: When a couple is consumed with
negativity it not only affects their past but it
can place danger on their future. In almost all
cases there are very good and happy memories in
every relationship but if things are too negative
that they can’t remember the good times, the
relationship is deteriorating.

Copyright © 2006 Jim Burns, Used with permission.
Read more from Jim at homeword.com

**********

This Weeks Christian Marriage Recommended
Resource:

"Instant Sexy Letters..."

Want to write your spouse a romantic (or sexy)
note, letter or email for the holidays, but are
having trouble getting started?
Try the unique Instant Sexy Letters package. It
will give you hundreds of templates and examples
of romantic, sexy letters. With just the click of
your mouse, you will be well on your way to
writing your spouse a fun, romantic letter!

Find Instant Sexy Letters Here:
http://www.christian-sex.net/sexyletters/index.html

**********

Who are Robert & Susan Irwin?

- Robert and Susan Irwin are
Nationally-recognized authors and speakers. They
have been asked to appear as Sexual Experts on
radio (The Danny Fontana Show [Inspiration
Network]), television (The Discovery Channel) and
has been published in many magazine (Men's
Health) and newspaper (The Pittsburgh Post
Gazette) articles.
- They are the proud parents of four amazing
children.
- He is the founder and Executive Director of
the Sexual Performance Institute.
- His E-Book, Sexual Skills For The Christian
Husband™ has been one of the world's
best-selling E-Books for over nine years.
- Thousands of men and women, across the globe,
have benefited from their counseling, seminars
and E-Books.

**********

You can find back issues of this newsletter at:

www.christian-sex.net/newsletter/index.html

Newsletter Archive:
http://www.christian-sex.net/newsletter/index.html

Recommended Marriage Resources:

http://www.christian-sex.net/resources/index.html

Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband:
http://www.christian-sex.net/husband/index.html

Sexual Satisfaction For The Christian Wife:
http://www.christian-sex.net/wife/index.html

When Your Husband Is Never In The Mood:
http://www.christian-sex.net/mood/index.html

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Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband     Sexual Satisfaction For The Christian Wife    Newsletter Archives   Recommended Resources  Christian Sex Blog