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Newsletter: December 5th, 2006

In this issue of the Christian Marriage
Secrets Newsletter...

- A Note From The Editors, Robert & Susan Irwin
- This Week’s Christian Marriage Quote
- This Week’s Sexual Relationship Tip
- This Week’s Christian Marriage Secrets Article
- This Week’s Recommended Resource
- Who are Robert & Susan Irwin?
- Removal Instructions
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The Christian Marriage Secrets Newsletter:

By Relationship Coaches & Christian Authors:

Robert & Susan Irwin

Newsletter Archive:
http://www.christian-sex.net/newsletter/index.html

Recommended Marriage Resources:
http://www.christian-sex.net/resources/index.html

Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband:
http://www.christian-sex.net/husband/index.html

Sexual Satisfaction For The Christian Wife:
http://www.christian-sex.net/wife/index.html

When Your Husband Is Never In The Mood:
http://www.christian-sex.net/mood/index.html

Christian Sex Blog:
http://www.christian-sex.net/christian_sex_blog/wordpress/index.php

December 5th, 2006

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**********

This Weeks Christian Marriage Recommended
Resource:

"Only Five Days Left On Our Subscriber Only
Holiday Discounts..."

Through December 11th, I have put together a few
"Subscriber Only" Discount packages just for you.

If there is one of our books that you have not
yet tried, NOW is the time to consider doing so.

You can save from $25 to $85 by taking advantage
of one of these "Holiday Discount" offers!

You will find these discount offers here:

http://www.christian-sex.net/subscriberoffers/index.html

**Be sure to at least check out these offers,
they are only in effect through December 11th.

**********

Robert & Susan’s News and Notes:

If you are like me, the Holiday season is a busy,
somewhat stressful time of year. So, you need a
good laugh once in awhile to relieve the
pressure.

So, I wanted to share with you the link to a
satirical Christian site, "The Sacred Sandwich,"
that might give you a few chuckles. It is the
Christian equivalent to www.theonion.com and is
often very humorous.

You can find it here:

http://sacredsandwich.com/frontpage.htm

Enjoy.

**********

This Week’s Christian Marriage Secrets Quote:

"God has set the type of marriage everywhere
throughout the creation.--Every creature seeks
its perfection in another.--The very heavens and
earth picture it to us."
~Martin Luther

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This Week’s Sexual Relationship Tip:

"A touch of O. Henry..."

Do you remember that O. Henry Christmas story,
"The Gift of the Magi?"

It is the one where the husband and wife don't
have money for Christmas presents, so they both
decide to sell something precious to them to
purchase a present for the other.

She sells her beautiful long hair to purchase a
gold watch chain for her husband's only valuable
possession- his pocket watch. He sells his pocket
watch to buy her a set of fine combs for her
beautiful hair.

It is a story of selfless giving to your spouse
and a lovely one at that.

And, this spirit of selfless, sacrificial giving
should apply to our approach to our married sex
life.


**********

This week's Christian Marriage Relationship
Article:

"Emotional Intimacy"

By Jill Savage


“What do you think the word “intimacy” means?”
asked the marriage retreat leader. After we all
took a miserable stab at defining the word, she
responded with, “In-to-me-see. Intimacy is seeing
into each other’s life. It’s knowing each other’s
strengths and weaknesses. It’s being aware of
each others fears, hopes, and dreams.”

Many of us define intimacy in marriage as sex and
while that is certainly a valuable part of the
marriage relationship, a healthy marriage has to
have emotional intimacy to go the distance.

What exactly is emotional intimacy? Emotional
intimacy occurs when there is enough trust and
communication between you and your spouse that it
allows you both to share your innermost selves.
Deep emotional intimacy is when we feel wholly
accepted, respected, and admired in the eyes of
our mate even when they know our innermost
struggles and failures. Emotional intimacy
fosters compassion and support, providing a firm
foundation for a marriage to last a lifetime.

Too many marriages today try to exist without
emotional intimacy. Over time a marriage lacking
intimacy will become empty, lifeless, and the
husband and wife will find distance in their
relationship. Emotional intimacy is the glue that
holds relationships together, yet it is
challenging for many of us to experience.

Why is it hard to develop emotional intimacy?
First, there’s the fear of rejection. (If I share
the essence of who I really am, you might
criticize or reject the real me.) Second, there’s
unfamiliarity with our own feelings, needs, or
wants. (If I’m not sure what I feel or need, how
can I share it with you?) Third, there’s a lack
of vocabulary to communicate our feelings
accurately or to verbalize exactly what we want
or need. (If I don’t know the words to describe
what I’m feeling or needing, then it’s easier to
just keep my thoughts to myself.) Fourth, we
expect our spouse to just know. (You can read my
mind, can’t you?)

The question we need to ask is, “Do we have to
live this way all of our lives?” And the answer
to that is “Absolutely not!” Even after 23 years
of marriage, my husband and I are discovering
that emotional intimacy is a place where we need
to grow and deepen our relationship. We’re taking
these steps to strengthen our relationship:

* Pay attention to your own emotions. Many of
us have two words to describe our emotions: happy
or angry. But there are dozens of emotions that
fall in between those words. Become familiar with
emotions by reading up on the subject and paying
attention to what really goes on inside of you.
You might even want to keep a journal of your
thoughts and emotions throughout the day.
* Become familiar with your “inner self.”
What are the messages that run in your mind
throughout the day? Where do you feel you don’t
measure up so you fear being vulnerable? How has
your pace of life been a false place of safety
for you to keep an emotional distance from others
because there just isn’t time?
* Evaluate your past. Take a walk back to
your childhood and consider the emotional
connectedness of the family you grew up in. Was
it ok to express feelings in your home? Did your
family really know one another or were they
simply operating as roommates living under one
roof?
* Determine to be a “safe” person for your
spouse to share his/her emotions, thoughts, and
feelings with. If you are characterized by
criticism or trying to fix your spouse, you will
close the door on inviting him/her to share.
* Increase the time you spend together as a
couple. Intimacy can’t be created without
spending time talking not just about the events
of the day, but also how you feel about the
events of the day.
* Deal with conflict swiftly. Don’t resort to
the silent treatment or snide remarks. Learn to
“fight fair” by getting the issue out on the
table and dealing with it with respect. This will
grow trust and deepen intimacy.
* Get help. You may find that a marriage
counselor is helpful in launching you and your
spouse into new emotional territory. If you
struggle with emotional intimacy more than your
spouse, a few private counseling sessions might
help you learn some things about yourself and
move from where you are to where you want to be.


Copyright © 2006 Jill Savage, Used with
permission.
Read more from Jill at heartsathome.com

**********

This Weeks Christian Marriage Recommended
Resource:

"Only Five Days Left On Our Subscriber Only
Holiday Discounts..."

Through December 11th, I have put together a few
"Subscriber Only" Discount packages just for you.

If there is one of our books that you have not
yet tried, NOW is the time to consider doing so.

You can save from $25 to $85 by taking advantage
of one of these "Holiday Discount" offers!

You will find these discount offers here:

http://www.christian-sex.net/subscriberoffers/index.html

**Be sure to at least check out these offers,
they are only in effect through December 11th.

**********

Who are Robert & Susan Irwin?

- Robert and Susan Irwin are
Nationally-recognized authors and speakers. They
have been asked to appear as Sexual Experts on
radio (The Danny Fontana Show [Inspiration
Network]), television (The Discovery Channel) and
has been published in many magazine (Men's
Health) and newspaper (The Pittsburgh Post
Gazette) articles.
- They are the proud parents of four amazing
children.
- He is the founder and Executive Director of
the Sexual Performance Institute.
- His E-Book, Sexual Skills For The Christian
Husband™ has been one of the world's
best-selling E-Books for over nine years.
- Thousands of men and women, across the globe,
have benefited from their counseling, seminars
and E-Books.

**********

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www.christian-sex.net/newsletter/index.html

Newsletter Archive:
http://www.christian-sex.net/newsletter/index.html

Recommended Marriage Resources:
http://www.christian-sex.net/resources/index.html

Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband:
http://www.christian-sex.net/husband/index.html

Sexual Satisfaction For The Christian Wife:
http://www.christian-sex.net/wife/index.html

When Your Husband Is Never In The Mood:
http://www.christian-sex.net/mood/index.html

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Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband     Sexual Satisfaction For The Christian Wife    Newsletter Archives   Recommended Resources  Christian Sex Blog