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Newsletter: January 30th 2007

In this issue of the Christian Marriage
Secrets Newsletter...

- A Note From The Editors, Robert & Susan Irwin
- This Week’s Christian Marriage Quote
- This Week’s Sexual Relationship Tip
- This Week’s Christian Marriage Secrets Article
- This Week’s Recommended Resource
- Who are Robert & Susan Irwin?
- Removal Instructions
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The Christian Marriage Secrets Newsletter:

By Relationship Coaches & Christian Authors:

Robert & Susan Irwin

Newsletter Archive:
http://www.christian-sex.net/newsletter/index.html

Recommended Marriage Resources:
http://www.christian-sex.net/resources/index.html

Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband:
http://www.christian-sex.net/husband/index.html

Sexual Satisfaction For The Christian Wife:
http://www.christian-sex.net/wife/index.html

When Your Husband Is Never In The Mood:
http://www.christian-sex.net/mood/index.html

Christian Sex Blog:
http://www.christian-sex.net/christian_sex_blog/wordpress/index.php
 

January 30th, 2007

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**********

This Weeks Christian Marriage Recommended
Resource:

"The Big Beautiful Women's Guide To Sex"

Are you a big beautiful woman (or married to
one)?

One of the questions that Sue and I receive ALL
THE TIME is, "Do you have any specific sexual
advice for women that are heavier?"

And, until recently, our honest answer was, "No."

But, recently that changed, our friends Andrea
Rains and Nancy Anne Eltrich have just released a
great e-book dedicated specifically to "big
beautiful women" and their husbands: "BBW Guide
To Sex."

Andrea and Nancy are committed to ensuring that
their married love lives are exciting and
fun...no matter what their weight happens to be!

They understand the issues related to sex when
you are heavier, so they are empathetic and
enthusiastic about their topic. Their book is
very concise, helpful and fun.

Finally, we can recommend a resource that is
specifically for our BBW readers and their
husbands!

You can download and try Andrea and Nancy's great
little e-book here:

http://www.christian-sex.net/bbw/index.html

**********

Robert & Susan’s News and Notes:

Matthew Paul Turner is a Christian and an author.

He is one of my current favorite authors because
his writing is enfused with grace and humor.

He is the author of:

-What You Didn't Learn From Your Parents About
Politics
-What You Didn't Learn From Your Parents About
Money
-What You Didn't Learn From Your Parents About
Christianity
-The Coffeehouse Gospel
-The Christian Culture Survival Guide
-Provocative Faith

And, he is the author of a new book, titled,
"What You Didn't Learn From Your Parents About
Sex."

Matthew interviewed me for this book and gives me
a recommendation on one of our sales pages...so,
of course, I think he's a genius.

He currently has a very popular video posted at
www.youtube.com listed under "Christian sex." You
can find it at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxBom7R-iR8

Enjoy.

**********

This Week’s Christian Marriage Secrets Quote:

"God has set the type of marriage everywhere
throughout the creation.--Every creature seeks
its perfection in another.--The very heavens and
earth picture it to us."
~Martin Luther

**********

This Week’s Sexual Relationship Tip:

"There are no frigid wives, only clumsy
husbands..."

The above is a quote from a Christian therapist
that we included "Sexual Satisfaction For The
Christian Wife."

Before you men start sending me nasty
emails...yes, I know that there truly are wives
that are little concerned about sex.

The purpose of the quote was not to put all of
the blame for a bad married sex life on the
husband. It was to highlight a general principle:
most women (under the right circumstances) are
capable of enjoying a fulfilling, orgasmic sex
life.

Another quote in that book that I love is, "Great
sex is 80% imagination and 20% friction." This
quote is meant to communicate that great sex
really isn't rocket science.

Women...if you desire a better, more fulfilling
sex life you need to do the following:

-YOU need to take responsibility for your sexual
pleasure and fulfillment; until you decide that
you WILL discover how to fulfill your sexual
potential, no amount of effort on your husband's
part will help.

-Accept the scientific fact that your clitoris is
the most critical part of your anatomy relative
to achieving your orgasmic potential. Stop
avoiding the obvious and actively structure your
sexual play with your husband to maximize the
stimulation of your clitoris...whatever that
means for you. Don't be afraid to "direct" your
sex play to do this. Although science has proven
that there are other forms of female orgasmic
possibilities...they are "advanced" pleasures to
pursue...not to be worried about if you currently
struggle with being orgasmic.

-Ensure that your pelvic area (specifically your
"PC" muscle) is in shape; learn and practice "PC"
strengthening exercises such as Kegels.

-Relax and enjoy the fact that God endorses your
pursuit of sexual pleasure. You have amazing
orgasmic potential because God made you that way.
If you don't believe that, consider your
clitoris...it is 1/10th the size of the average
penis...yet it has the same number of (pleasure
giving) nerve endings...it has TEN TIMES the
orgasmic potential of the average male genitals!

If you have not yet read our book, "Sexual
Satisfaction For The Christian Wife," you can
download and try it's techniques for only $12.00
at the following "Subscribers Only" link:

http://www.christian-sex.net/wife/subscribers.html

**********

"10 Things Guys Wish Women Knew about Men"

By Jim Burns

It is likely no surprise to you that God has
wired women and men differently. We all recognize
some of these differences, but others often hide
in plain sight. Shaunti Feldhahn, a nationally
syndicated newspaper columnist, author and
speaker recently wrote a fantastic book, For
Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner
Lives of Men. In it, she recounts the surprising
truths she learned about men after interviewing
more than one thousand of them. Not long ago, I
had the opportunity to interview Shaunti for our
radio broadcast, HomeWord with Jim Burns. In our
discussion, we spoke about ten things guys wish
women knew about men. I think you’ll find these
ten things fascinating! Even more, I believe that
in understanding these issues, you’ll be equipped
to lead your marriage to a better place!

1. Men would rather feel unloved than
inadequate and disrespected. Husbands need to
know that their wives respect them both privately
and publicly. Men thrive when they know that
their wives trust them, admire them and believe
in them. Shaunti Feldhahn’s research indicated
that men would rather sense the loss of loving
feelings from their wives than to be disrespected
by them.
2. A man’s anger is often a response to
feeling disrespected by his wife. When a husband
becomes angry with his wife, he may not come out
and say, “You’re disrespecting me!” But, there is
a good likelihood that he is feeling stung by
something his wife has done which he considers
disrespectful and humiliating.
3. Men are insecure. Men are afraid that they
aren’t cutting it in life -- not just at work,
but at home, in their role as a husband. They may
never vocalize this, but inwardly, they are
secretly vulnerable. The antidote? Affirmation.
To men, affirmation from their wives is
everything! If they don’t receive this
affirmation from their wives, they’ll seek it
elsewhere. When they receive regular and genuine
affirmation from their wives (not flattery, by
the way), they become much more secure and
confident in all areas of their lives.
4. Men feel the burden of being the provider
for their family. Intellectually, it doesn’t
matter how much or little a man makes, or whether
or not his wife makes more or less money in her
career. Men simply bear the emotional burden of
providing for their family. It’s not a burden
they’ve chosen to bear. Men are simply wired with
this burden. As such, it is never far from their
minds and can result in the feeling of being
trapped. While wives cannot release their
husbands from this burden, they can relieve it
through a healthy dose of appreciation,
encouragement and support.
5. Men want more sex. Everyone’s natural
response to this is probably, “Duh!” But, that
response is probably for the wrong reason. We
primarily assume that men want more sex with
their wives due to their physical wiring (their
“needs”). But, surprisingly, Shaunti Feldhahn’s
research showed that the reason men want more sex
is because of their strong need to be desired by
their wives. Men simply need to be wanted.
Regular, fulfilling sex is critical to a man’s
sense of feeling loved and desired.
6. Sex means more than sex. When men feel
their wives desire them sexually, it has a
profound effect on the rest of their lives. It
gives them an increasing sense of confidence and
well-being that carries over into every other
area of his life. The flipside of this coin also
carries a profoundly negative affect. When a
husband feels rejected sexually, he not only
feels his wife is rejecting him physically, but
that she is somehow rejecting his life as a
husband, provider and man. This is why making sex
a priority in marriage is so incredibly
important!
7. Men struggle with visual temptation. This
means the vast majority of men respond to visual
images when it comes to women. And, this doesn’t
just mean the guys with wandering eyes. Even the
most godly husband cannot avoid noticing a woman
who dresses in a way that draws attention to her
body. Even if it is just a glance, these visual
images are stored away in the male brain as a
sort of “visual rolodex” that will reappear
without any warning. Men can choose whether to
dwell on these images and memories or dismiss
them, but they can’t control when these images
appear.
8. Men enjoy romance, but doubt their skills
to be romantic. True, many men appear to be
unromantic clods, but it doesn’t mean that they
want to be that way! Men want to be romantic, but
they just doubt their ability to pull it off.
They are plagued by internal hesitations,
perceiving the risk of humiliation and failure as
too high. Wives can do a great deal to increase
their husbands’ confidence in their romantic
skills through encouragement and redefining what
romance looks like. For example, a wife may balk
when her husband asks her to go along to the
hardware store, but it’s likely that he’s asking
because he sees it as a time they can get away as
a couple and hang out together. What’s not
romantic about that?
9. Men care about their wife’s appearance.
This isn’t saying that all men want their wives
to look like the latest supermodel. What men
really want is to know that their wives are
making an effort to take care of themselves (and
not letting themselves go) because it matters to
them (the husbands!). Husbands appreciate the
efforts their wives make to maintain their
attractiveness.
10. Men want their wives to know how much they
love them. This was the number one response of
men. Men aren’t confident in their ability to
express this, but they love their wives dearly.
Men want to show how much they love their wives
and long for them to understand this fact.

Read more from Jim at homeword.com

In response to the overwhelming needs of parents
and families, Jim Burns founded HomeWord
(formerly YouthBuilders) in 1985. HomeWord is a
Christian organization designed to provide
assistance to adults worldwide as they help young
people make wise decisions and lead positive,
vibrant, Christian lifestyles. Multiplication and
Leverage: While absolutely committed to young
people, HomeWord equips parents, grandparents and
youth leaders; those who daily reach out to kids.
By equipping adults, and leveraging those adults
to reach kids, HomeWord reaches more young people
more cost effectively.

**********

This Weeks Christian Marriage Recommended
Resource:

"The Big Beautiful Women's Guide To Sex"

Are you a big beautiful woman (or married to
one)?

One of the questions that Sue and I receive ALL
THE TIME is, "Do you have any specific sexual
advice for women that are heavier?"

And, until recently, our honest answer was, "No."

But, recently that changed, our friends Andrea
Rains and Nancy Anne Eltrich have just released a
great e-book dedicated specifically to "big
beautiful women" and their husbands: "BBW Guide
To Sex."

Andrea and Nancy are committed to ensuring that
their married love lives are exciting and
fun...no matter what their weight happens to be!

They understand the issues related to sex when
you are heavier, so they are empathetic and
enthusiastic about their topic. Their book is
very concise, helpful and fun.

Finally, we can recommend a resource that is
specifically for our BBW readers and their
husbands!

You can download and try Andrea and Nancy's great
little e-book here:

http://www.christian-sex.net/bbw/index.html

**********

Who are Robert & Susan Irwin?

- Robert and Susan Irwin are
Nationally-recognized authors and speakers. They
have been asked to appear as Sexual Experts on
radio (The Danny Fontana Show [Inspiration
Network]), television (The Discovery Channel) and
has been published in many magazine (Men's
Health) and newspaper (The Pittsburgh Post
Gazette) articles.
- They are the proud parents of four amazing
children.
- He is the founder and Executive Director of
the Sexual Performance Institute.
- His E-Book, Sexual Skills For The Christian
Husband™ has been one of the world's
best-selling E-Books for over nine years.
- Thousands of men and women, across the globe,
have benefited from their counseling, seminars
and E-Books.

**********

You can find back issues of this newsletter at:

www.christian-sex.net/newsletter/index.html

Newsletter Archive:
http://www.christian-sex.net/newsletter/index.html

Recommended Marriage Resources:
http://www.christian-sex.net/resources/index.html

Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband:

http://www.christian-sex.net/husband/index.html

Sexual Satisfaction For The Christian Wife:
http://www.christian-sex.net/wife/index.html

When Your Husband Is Never In The Mood:
http://www.christian-sex.net/mood/index.html

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Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband     Sexual Satisfaction For The Christian Wife    Newsletter Archives   Recommended Resources  Christian Sex Blog